"To Live In Hearts We Leave Behind Is Not To Die"

Today's post will be slightly different. 

Today, I will be writing a letter to someone who may not have been the closest to me, but had definitely impacted my life in so many ways. I shall not be naming her.

Dear xx,

By the time I post this, you would have left already. Being the person I am, I could not say much to you when I visited you, so here I am, writing this letter to you, hoping that you would be able to receive it well.

Thank you for all your guidance and support when you had taught me in Year 1. It had been really difficult year for me, attempting to adapt to the new school and new environment back then, but having you as my form teacher made that so much easier. You filled my school life with joy and fun. You were so full of energy, and so, so kind towards me. I didn't like school then, but you had always made my bad days slightly better.

Despite your condition, you had still taught us animatedly, livening up lessons with all your funny jokes and really cute drawings. You had helped me so much back then, and I wouldn't know how I would be like now if I didn't have such a supportive teacher like you. 

I still remember, when I was in Year 1, I needed to relay to you important personal family matters that had occurred just before the year end exams, and I had broken down into tears while talking to you. Yet, you were still so understanding, and had comforted me. This incident had really touched my heart in so many ways then, and I was so thankful to have you as my teacher. 

When I first heard about your condition, I was so shocked. How could such a selfless person experience so much pain throughout her life? But yet, you were still so positive about life, and filled with such bright hope for the future. You had fought, and pushed on so hard. Not many could possess the same amount of determination that you had throughout this entire journey. But unfortunately, determination was not enough. No one could have the energy to persevere on for that long. Everything has to come to an end at some point in time. 

I will miss everything. From your quirky character, to the personal letters that you wrote to every student, to the incomplete one-to-one talks that you had planned to have. You were one of the best teachers that I had. Because of you, it had ignited a passion in me for the subject that you had taught. Even after entering Year 3 and changing subject combinations, I had still chosen to take that subject, and had been doing well in that subject for the past 3 years. I hope I had done you proud.

Although you do not remember who I am anymore, I still thank you, for everything that you had done for me, and for everyone. You had impacted and inspired so many people around you, and everyone is really grateful to have met someone like you. You had been so strong. So, so strong. Although I may not share the same religion as you, I will still be praying for you in my own way, for you to be able to take your leave without any worries, fears, or pain. 

I am glad to be given the chance to meet you, and speak to you one last time. I hope you had felt the gratefulness that I had towards you when I visited. If not, I hope this letter be able to convey it.

"Where there are no words... know the silences are carrying the thoughts and prayers of all who love you" -Dawn Dewis

Thank you, and rest well. 

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Album of the Week:

BTS - 화양연화 Pt. 2 (The Most Beautiful Moment In Life Pt. 2)  

Genre: Hip-hop, Dance, R&B, Korean-pop

Language: Korean
This is probably one of the very very few albums which I had really liked all the songs in their album. This is a full album consisting of 9 songs, and they range from hip-hop songs to R&B songs. Each song has their own unique features, which make every song sound really good. One special trait about BTS' albums is that they usually add intros, interludes and outros to their albums. I don't have much to say, just that it is a well-made album :)

My favourite songs are the last two tracks, 고엽 (Autumn Leaves) and Outro: House of Cards.

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Pictures of the Week:

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On a Lighter Note:

I am back from my vacation to New Zealand!! New Zealand is a really picturesque country I wish I could stay there for a while more :(

Although it is currently the holidays, I am unsure of how frequent I can update as I have many things to accomplish during these holidays (get a part time job, study for next year's syllabus, etc.) so my schedule is quite packed! Nonetheless, I really enjoy sharing these blogposts so I will try to update it as frequently as I can :)

This blog post may have sounded a bit more formal as compared to previous posts. As you could tell from the letter above, things that were not the most pleasant had occurred and thus I do not really have the ability to sound more energetic and vibrant. I seek for your understanding. Also, if my letter above had caused any negative emotions to stir within you due to similar past experiences, I deeply apologise.

By the way, thank you for the 1020 page views!! :)) 

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"Live Life, Love Life"

Hope to see you guys in the near future!

~Baethxr

"We Learn From Failure, Not From Success"

Everyone has been through ups and downs, successes and failures throughout their life, no matter how old or young they are.

I am no exception.

Remember that I had mentioned about my End-Of-Year Assessments in my previous post?

They did not turn out that well.

I had completely flunked my language papers.

It was a horrible feeling, really. When I first received my papers, I did not know what to feel. Was this even real? What am I going to do now? I had scored so badly that my GPA for that subject had dropped 1 to 2 bands. What was worse was that I had been doing relatively well for the subjects, only for the final papers to ruin all the hard work that I had put in throughout the year.

And that was not all of the difficulties and setbacks that I had faced throughout the year.

There were so many other failures that I had faced. I had previously mentioned getting two leadership positions in school as well. I was originally running for being the Captain for my leadership board. And I thought that I would be able to get that position. But obviously that did not happen. During my campaigning speech, I had screwed up everything so badly that I couldn't help but weep when the campaigning had finally ended. They weren't tears of joy, but tears of sorrow and regret. If only I had done better.

These setbacks had really placed a toll on me. I was never a person who had the most positive outlook in life, nor was I a person who could get up on my feet quickly after having a setback. 

These failures made me lose a huge part of my self-confidence, especially after my campaigning. I felt that I was not good enough, not fit enough to even take on a leadership role anymore. I had wanted to give up on everything that I had worked hard for for the past two years. I had chided myself mentally for the next few weeks, diminishing my self-confidence even more, and I felt so bitter whenever someone mentioned about campaigning to me. I wanted to cry every time I thought about not getting the Captain position. 

But as time passed, it had gotten better. I learnt to still believe in myself despite that failure, and besides, it was not as if I had not gotten any leadership positions after that. Despite it not being as high of a ranking as I had originally wanted it to be, I still had a leadership position, and I was satisfied.

But then, End-Of-Year Assessments came, and I was crushed once more.

It was really upsetting. I felt so horrible, and I felt like crying. But it was all pent up inside, and I could not release it, making me feel so suffocated by my own emotions. It was even worse when I saw my teachers and parents' disappointed looks. They had such high hopes in me, but that only resulted in disappointment.

What was the point of working and trying so hard to do well, only to fail so terribly? I might as well not even try in the first place.

Giving up felt like such an easy choice. You would not need to care about anything, anymore. But then again, I would feel even more horrible if I chose to give up. My conscience would never allow me to.

From these experiences, I slowly realised that it was okay to fail. Sure, it sucks to fail. But no one can ever stay at the peak for so long. No one can even reach their peaks without experiencing some sort of failure in their lives. People needed setbacks and failures in order to learn from their past mistakes and pick themselves up again, and eventually succeed. Nothing is ever smooth sailing in life. 

Thus, I will learn from whatever failures that I had experienced this year, and motivate myself to work even harder, in order to not experience such dejection again.

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Album of the Week:

GOT7 - Flight Log: Departure

Genre: Korean Pop, Trap

Language: Korean

In the previous post, I mentioned that this is the first album in GOT7's "Flight Log" series :) This is an extended play, consisting of 8 songs. Furthermore, the members have taken part in the composing and lyric writing of some of the songs! This album is generally really laid-back and relaxing, but there are 1 to 2 songs which are have strong beats as well :)

My favourite songs from the album are Fly, Something Good and Home Run :)

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Pictures of the Week:

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On A Lighter Note:

Hello! I'm technically updating on a Saturday since it is around 1.30am where I am at right now but hehe it has been two(?) weeks since the last post. Even though my exams ended, I had competitions and performances to practice for but they are now finally over so I am absolutely free right now yay!! Plus school is officially out hehe :) 

However I will be overseas for the next two weeks so I would not be updating this blog. The earliest that I can update it will probably be the last week of November? But it is definitely not confirmed yet.

Also, the page views for this blog have exceeded 1000 views!! It is currently at 1004 page views :) A HUGE thank you to everyone who has been visiting and reading my posts :) I hope you guys liked reading them!

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"Live life, love life."

Hope to see you guys in the near future!

~Baethxr

"Even Best Friends Grow Apart"

Time really flies.

It has been a year since I blogged on this site, and wow, many things have changed.

I am now in a new class, with new friends and new teachers. Everything has changed since last year.

And can you believe it? I have already completed my End-Of-Year Assessments! (which means I am free for the rest of the year!)

I had experienced many things ever since the start of the year. I had quite a number of friendship problems, constantly feeling left out and unwanted, even by my closest friends. All my close friends from last year have found new close friends in their respective classes, but even till now, I have yet to find one. The people that I thought I was really close to at the beginning of the year, turned out otherwise at the very end. I have a completely different set of friends now, but I feel happier, and I am still on good terms with everyone in my class, so all is rather well. 

As I had mentioned previously, throughout the year, I had experienced many conflicting thoughts and feelings about my friendships with people. When all my friends found new close friends, I had felt so abandoned. "I thought we were close enough," Was what I had thought then. I feared that them finding new friends would subsequently result in us severing our friendship, and I had felt so devastated at that thought. I didn't want that to happen. Even my best friend was also distancing herself from me, having other friends to go to. The people whom I used to know the best, were now people whom I could only vaguely recognise and understand. It was very upsetting. 

However, I had realised that this was all part of life. People come and go. Nothing is indispensable, nothing stays constant. As the saying goes, "The only constant is change." These things might hurt, but I would learn to get over it and continue on with life. All that I need to do is to cherish all the memories that my friends and I have had together. 

Besides, I realised that though they have found new friends, and talked less to me, that did not mean that we are not close anymore. Sure, I spend less time with them now, but we can still connect with each other whenever we meet up. The friendship may be slightly different now, but the essence of it still remains the same. 

Sure, I still often find myself doubting my self-worth, and thinking whether my close friends don't think of me as a close friend anymore. I still often find myself upset over the fact that things have changed, and I am unable to attain the friendships with them that I used to have. But at the end of the day, I still have them with me, and they still listen and help me, so I should at least give them my trust that they are willing to stay by my side. 

I do not know what may happen in the future. For all I know, we might end up severing our friendship due to inconsolable reasons, and turn from friends to foes. But if that time ever comes, albeit being sad, I will just reminiscence about our times spent together as close friends. Right now, I will just live life as it is, and enjoy their company.

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Album of the Week: 

GOT7 - Flight Log: Turbulence 

Genre: Dance, Trap, Hip-hop, R&B

Language: Korean

Many good albums have been released since last August, but I thought that I should start from the most recent album, then work backwards.

So, introducing a GOT7 album! I think I have never mentioned it previously, but GOT7 was a Korean-pop boy group that I had gotten into since late 2014. Their songs were not that fantastic previously, but their current songs are really catchy and groovy, so I thought that it was a good album to be recommended :)

Flight Log: Turbulence is a "sequel" album to their previous mini album, Flight Log: Departure. This album is a full-length album, comprising of 13 songs, 11 songs which the members of the group have helped compose/write the lyrics. Most of their songs have a very strong bass and is full of edm components, so it really allows you to groove along with the song :)

My favourites are Boom x3, Prove It, Hey and My Home. 

This album really suits my music taste, and I hope you like it too!

(I realised that I have not recommended a Korean Hip-Hop album for a really long time, so I hope to do so soon!)

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Picture of the Week: 

 

(sorry for the drop in quality of the pictures as I started to pay less attention to taking quality photos :/)

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On A Lighter Note:

I! Am! Back!! After an entire year (and two months) :D

As I had mentioned, many things had happened. After my previous blog post, my end-of-year assessments came. However, after they ended, I did not have any motivation to update this blog anymore. This year, I had so many projects and assessments, and I was elected for two leadership roles in my school, so my life was very hectic and I did not have the time and energy to update this blog (I procrastinated a lot too). I had considered leaving it for good, but I decided to come back again :)

Updates will be very infrequent, but I will definitely try to continue updating my blog from time to time. I am not sure whether the next blog post will come a year later, but I hope to update it before then :)

Also, thank you for the 984 views! Wow the number of page views have tripled since last year and I am so grateful to everyone reading my blog even though I had stopped updating it :)

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"Live life, love life."

Hope to see you guys in the near future! (I have changed my ending statement haha)

~Baethxr